What not to say to a mother of twins….
From the moment you become pregnant with twins, strangers seem to feel the need to comment on your life, sometimes, very personal stuff. Even before you give birth, everyone is commenting on how big you are, thanks for that, that’s kind of you to say I am very large!!
I have pulled together a list of things not to say to a mother of twins and some responses I have heard said…
You’ve got your hands full
- Yes, thanks, they are quite full, do you want to help?
- No, not really, I love juggling children
- Thanks for your input, I wasn’t aware of that
- Double the love!
- Double the smiles!
- Double the mess!
- Double the hugs!
- Double the pleasure!
Buy one get one free, or 2 for the price of 1
- No, the second one is certainly not free. Have you ever tried squeezing 2 children in 1 car seat or feeding 2 children only 1 meal?
- My twins were not a supermarket BOGOF deal
Were they IVF?
- That’s a very personal question – how did you conceive your kids?
Do twins run in your family?
- Identical twins do not run in families, they are just one-off happenings of nature (having said that, my brother also now has identical twin boys, but I assure you, that is just a statistical anomaly)
Are they identical?
- Does that make a difference?
- One is a boy dressed in blue and one is a girl dressed in pink! THEY CANNOT HAVE THE SAME DNA!!
- I used to have virtual arguments with strangers over this question, as I was told my twins were non identical and to me they look different. Then at 18 months old they were tested and actually, they are identical! Sorry to all those people I argued with! (Oops!)
I don’t know how you do it?
- Because I have to, I have no choice! (Not that I would change it anyway)
- I can’t today, I’m just going to leave one here
I’ve always wanted twins
- Well, that’s nice?!
Are they twins?
- No, they are triplets, I left the 3rd at home!
I have 2 close in age, I understand what it’s like
- No you don’t. I also have a toddler close in age, I know what it’s like to have different ages too, and believe me it’s nothing like having twins!
This is a list I have compiled through my own experience and many conversations with other twin mummy’s and their responses, not all said by me.
Some twin mummy’s get very annoyed at the response and attraction from strangers. It can be very irritating to get asked the same questions 10 times a day, especially when you are trying to get somewhere, or do something and you keep getting stopped in the street. However, I have never really minded it so much, as I think people are just interested.
I love having twins.
Yes, my hands are full.
Yes, they are double the pleasure.
Yes, they are identical!