Tantrums can be very difficult to deal with, exhausting, stressful and even embarrassing at times with only 1 child, so when you have two children going through this stage at the same time, it can seem down right impossible to deal with and get through. However, if you speak to anyone with older twins, they will all say, they came out the other side, they got through it relatively unscathed, though it may not have been an easy ride, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
There will be times of embarrassment, when you have both your twins lying on the floor in the supermarket kicking and screaming for something, and there will be times you just want to scream back at them because your eardrums are going to burst with the sheer volume of noise, but it does not last forever, things will improve. I am just coming out the other side now, so I know it does improve.
Here are some tips to help you get through the terrible two’s in the mean time:
- Try to stay calm
- Try to be consistent, but firm
- Try to let unimportant things go (I personally need more practice with this)
- Try to give your twins lots of attention when you can
- Set a good example (try not to raise your voice), it is better to just walk away (as long as you know they are safe)
- Treat each twin as an individual, each twin may need a different type of discipline depending each personality etc
I have personally found the best way to deal with my twins tantrums, is to largely ignore them. A tantrum is mostly to do with wanting your attention, that is what toddlers crave most of the time. So, if you walk away and ignore them, they are not being given the attention (or reward) that they are looking for. In theory this should teach them to find other ways to get attention, more acceptable ways.
Toddlers often have tantrums because they are frustrated. They don’t have the vocabulary to voice their feelings and they don’t have the understanding to reason with things in life yet. This all leads to a lot of pent-up frustration which frequently comes out as a tantrum.
Just remember: tantrums are not your fault, they are an inevitable part of growing up, so you are not failing as a parent if you have children who throw lots of tantrums (most children do). Stay calm and walk away (as long as they are safe).