Twins & party invites

Last weekend saw something very different for my twins. For the first time, my girls were not invited to a birthday party together, only one.

At first, I must admit, I was a bit surprised. I was expecting this issue, as it is only natural, they are two individual children, not a package deal, but I wasn’t really expecting it yet, more when they start school. They are only three, they go to nursery together and from what I can tell, they share the same friends.

Boo was very excited, she was going to her friend’s birthday party. However, when Pinky finally realised, she was not invited, we did have a few tears. It was very difficult explaining to a three-year old, she’s not invited to one of her friends party’s, that her twin sister is going to. I know this issue will come up again though.

My friend offered to have Pinky and BB whilst I took Boo to the party. They were very excited about that, so we didn’t have any more tears. We made cakes for them to take for a picnic and they had a great time.

It was very interesting, seeing how my twins were, apart from each other. They are so rarely separated. Boo went to the party and got stuck straight in playing with her friends, which was so great to see. I am really pleased, she got to experience this. I believe it is healthy for them to be separated sometimes.

My only issue I then had, was ‘the party bag’! As my children are all of a very similar age (only 2 yrs between all 3 of them), they basically share everything, especially my twins. It is just impossible for them not to. This has not been a problem, until now. Boo came home with ‘her’ party bag, so for the first time, she had something of her own, she didn’t want the others always taking everything. My children are usually very good with sharing, as they have never known anything else, but this ownership of the bag, definitely brought up its own issues and fights.

This birthday party issue was actually a good thing to experience. My twins got to spend time apart, they got to play with friends on their own and it was lovely for me to watch how Boo interacted without her twin sister there. It was great to see, this was not a problem. And the ownership of belongings, well, I guess I will just have to work on that one.

This entry was posted in Twins and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Twins & party invites

  1. Kim Carberry says:

    Aww! It is a good thing to experience…but aww! Why invite one but not the other…..Glad they both had a good time doing their own thing though x

    • karen bell says:

      I think only 1 was invited because, it was from a nursery friend and so the parents didn’t realise they were twins

  2. Dawn Frazier says:

    With my twins, it’s only happened once where only one got invited to a party. Although I actually don’t think it does them any harm to know that they’re not always going to do the same thing at the same time. Partly the reason why I decided to separate them in school. Most of the time people do tend to invite both but I have made it clear to them that they shouldn’t feel that they have to invite both, just because they are twins. My son just accepts that sometimes he does things and sometimes his sisters do things. They complain sometimes too, but I just tell them that’s life.

  3. Orlena says:

    How strange to not invite both of them. Why would some one do that? But as you say, good to spend time apart. I love spending time alone with each of my children, it just difficult with 4 of them.

  4. In the past year my twins have started being invited to separate parties especially as they’re fraternal twins. But I find it always tricky as they keep count of how many each are invited to and get jealous if one has been to more than the other. I always want to hug parents who say bring both of them!

  5. That must have been a difficult one to handle, especially the party bag, but lovely for you to spend time with just Boo and watching her like that. As you say, it’s bound to happen more and more, so it’s just the beginning!

    • karen bell says:

      It was tricky, but it was actually a good thing and I did like watching Boo on her own for once :)

  6. It sounds like you handed this situation REALLY well – I bet the party bag was a problem though! I think it is important for the girls to have their individualities and the fact that it is something that is coming at such a young age is a good thing :) Plus, I think it was very brave of the other Mum to only invite one – I would have felt VERY guilty! Thanks for linking to PoCoLo x

    • karen bell says:

      Thank you, difficult situations can often turn out to be a blessing, as I think it was good for them x

  7. blueberetmum says:

    I find it odd too that only one twin so invited, on the other hand it is probably good that they are seen by others as individuals. A very interesting post!

    • karen bell says:

      Thank you, I like to see them thought of as individuals, so this was actually quite a good thing really

Please leave a comment